I Need a Cup of Tea To Go With My Upper Crust

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Last Christmas we were living in a tiny, run down little flat in Sydney's inner west, looking after a nervous cat. When I went out for my daily walk I hunted for sightings of elusive inflatable Christmas dinosaurs.

This Christmas I'm sitting one ditzy little dog in a luxurious house into which I could, without pinching, fit at least eight of last year's tired little flats.  Outside, the tree-lined street is littered with Jaguars (of the mechanical not feline variety), Porsches, and the odd Lexus or BMW to bring the tone down a bit.  There are no inflatable dinosaurs in this world: the suburb's sole concession to Christmas decorations is identical red netting bows around every tree and on most of the gates.  There may be wreaths on the front doors but I can't tell because every front gate is securely locked and guarded by a key-pad and camera, before which one must beg for entry.

Uniform red netting bows along green, tree-lined streets.


There's always one...

Every morning Cobwebs and I go walking on streets cluttered with professional dog-walkers, dodging small flocks of lycra-clad cyclists on carbon-fibre road bikes.  Overheard snatches of conversation bear testament to the traumas of being obliged to attend the opera with one's mother.  Inside the house, sunlight pours through sky lights and walls of glass look out to the heated pool shimmering in the shade of magnolias. The gardener and the pool man arrive regularly to ensure impeccable surroundings at all times.


Magnolia.

It's a shame that the cleaners have been put on hold for the duration of our stay and we are (oh horror!) expected to clean up after ourselves.

Just down the road is Chadstone Shopping Centre, which we all know is the largest shopping centre in Australia and second in the Southern Hemisphere.  In keeping with my new fancy-pants lifestyle I discovered that in Chadstone the cost price of items rose with altitude, while the ratio of goods/floor space decreased.  Thus the seething masses scrambled for toilet paper and bananas on the ground floor while on floor three a single bottle of perfume occupied a gilded square metre, and a be-suited concierge had the power to lift a velvet rope and allow entry only to those deemed worthy.

There were no inflatable dinosaurs in Chadstone but the third floor did offer some very nice Christmas-themed windows, even if the concierges squinted sideways at me when I took photos.

Lego, anyone?

A futuristic Christmas.

Now all this luxury and playing at how the other half lives was all very well and good, but life in the posh lane delivered one surprising hardship, an omission that colours every day with struggle...

No kettle.

That's right, no kettle.  Instead of a kettle, a zip boil thingy lurks like a troll under the (butler's) sink and delivers boiling hot water at the press of a button.  Apart from the obvious trauma of feeling like I'm at work every time I have a cuppa, I've realised how much I rely on the reliable punctuation of kettle-boiling throughout my day.

I flick on the kettle to boil water for my morning oats while I shower.  I flick on the kettle for my 1000 cup of coffee, the wait for the kettle giving me a solid reason not to be working for minute or two.  Friends (theoretical only, I don't know anyone in Melbourne but if I did they would come over) pop in to visit?  I boil the kettle.  Want to just chill beside the TV/pool/sunny outdoor area?  I make a cup of tea.  Sometimes I make a cup of tea and then discover 2 hours later that I haven't even drunk it, the tea-making ritual alone being all that was needed.

It's all very stressful, thinking about this and working out how to manage life without kettle-related micro-procrastination built in to the day.

I think I need a nice cup of tea. Come join me to sit a bit and drink our tea.

Mmm that's nice.





Comments

  1. JasmineDecember 20, 2022 at 9:52 PM

    Yes, my girls and I would gladly join you for a nice cup of tea any time all the better brewed in a nice teapot, of which I think I could always have one more, but Tony reckons 6 is enough, got to have one for all types of tea parties!!! Here's to tea when we catch up, which when I've a few days off together, I should just jump ship and fly down and visit..

    ReplyDelete
  2. KatyBeeDecember 21, 2022 at 5:06 AM

    I would love to see you should you plan a flying visit! I think flights are very expensive at the moment though.

    ReplyDelete

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