Two Small Dogs Went Out One Day

Two small dogs went out for a walk one cold and cloudy morning.   They persuaded their person to take them early, because the forecast rain and wind would prevent later walks and if they didn't go for a walk they would just squabble all afternoon.

D1 fought wildly at the end of his lead for the first 300m of his walk.  He snapped and growled and threatened and bullied while D2 grasped his own lead firmly between his teeth, ignored D1, and took himself out at a nice brisk trot.  Frustrated by being ignored, D1 excelled himself with fighting and snarling to the point that he pulled himself out of his collar and his person yelled his name very loudly which was quite shocking.  Before he knew what was going on his collar was back on and he was walking in dog Coventry without any chance of snapping at D2 at all.

Once the magic 300m mark was reached D1&2 decided they would comport themselves like normal dogs, and everyone was happy.  They even got to walk over the big pedestrian bridge, which may have been because their person didn't trust them at the traffic lights but they weren't to know that.

Should you decide to slip your collar you will not get squashed.

They reached a delightful park, with lots of places to smell and puddles to paddle in. Two fathers were exhausting their small children by keeping time as the children ran laps around the park and the fathers shouted encouragement in between discussing where you could get the best lattes and how much sleep their babies prevented them from having.  Not that D1&2's person was eavesdropping or anything like that, of course.  

They followed the children around the path and in the distance two huskies approached, off lead, with their owners.  D1&2's person, being a spoilsport, immediately took them off into the grass and bushes and D1 was not impressed and started his barking and snarling routine anyway.  The huskies heard him and came over to say hello, before realising that he was swearing and saying rude things in dog language.  Perplexed, the huskies wagged their tails and tried to play anyway, while their person called them to come away.  In all the hullabullo D1 popped out of his collar again and his person growled so loudly that D1 was astonished and the huskies (who were as obedient as they were good natured) turned their backs and went back to their people to be leashed and escorted out of the park.

'What did you do that for?' D1 asked of his person.  'I was winning!' (In his head D1 was a mighty lion, whatever his teeny tiny little terrier body might have to say about that).

'You are a very naughty dog' replied his person.  'You are going back to dog Coventry and with a tighter collar too.'  

'Don't look at me for help,' said D2.  'Those huskies were big and scary.  Come smell this bush.'

Their person marched them briskly to a second park on the way home.  "Bummer!" She exclaimed when they got there.

There were hundreds of dogs at the park.  They all had their owners on leads and they were walking and sitting and staying and parading back and forth and round and round.  Some of them, unleashed, performed all sorts of exciting circuits of obstacle courses with tunnels and jumps and stairs.

D1&2's person (spoilsport!) wouldn't let them play.  They were frogmarched (dogmarched?) on a very short leash around the very perimeter of the park to the closest exit.

'See?' said their person.  'That's what well-behaved dogs look like!'

'Let me at them!' shouted D1.  'Twerps the lot of them!  I could beat them up with my collar still on!'

Sniff! said D2.

In no time at all they were back home and D2 had stolen the best spot on the lounge.  D1 found it difficult to jump up onto the lounge because his legs were short and the floor was slippery but eventually he managed it.  He walked along the back of the lounge until he was behind his person, and then he walked down over her until he was in her lap. 

Just when he thought he was settled the person carefully pushed him off and he had to share the couch with D2 who was all curled up and snoring, not interested at all in the travails besetting D1.

D1 sulked himself sadly to sleep, dreaming of a world where endless huskies presented themselves to be vanquished and small dogs ruled the world.

Life is tough when you're a lion in a small dog's body.