12/04/2022 IKIMO: Melbourne

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FOMO is the pathological Fear Of Missing Out which impels the digitally-connected generation never to commit to anything for fear a better offer will come along; and to suffer anxiety if separated from their devices and the ability to know about whatever it is that they are missing out on.

I don't have FOMO. I suffer instead from the lesser-known affliction of IKIMO: I Know I'm Missing Out.

Covid touched my vulnerable family member quite lightly, to the point that they hopped on an aeroplane and went to nice warm Queensland to celebrate a friend's wedding and enjoy some sunshine, leaving me in cold, cloudy Melbourne with the dog and the knowledge of missing out.

Tuesday rolled around and I made the arduous commute to the living room to start work. Back in Adelaide Roger lollygagged happily in Brighton beside the sea, sending me photos to make sure my IKIMO was alive and well.

"On Monday I had tea at the pop-up cafe beside the sea," he said.

"On Tuesday I went for a walk through the Conservation Reserve," he said. "There was a fat people filter at the entrance to the walk."

He made it through.

"Oh woe was me!" He wailed.  "There were so many stairs! I am so unfit!"

I was not sympathetic to his staircase woes;

his struggle to find the right photographic angle for the stunning natural formations;



his difficulty selecting the right coffee to sip as he sat on the deck outside the cafe at the end of his walk;


 

his scenic train ride;


 

back to his cabin beside the beach.

Yes, put your feet up.  It's a tough life going for walks and drinking coffee.

 

I wasn't the only one suffering from IKIMO. The dog lay at my feet all day, leaping up with gratifying excitement whenever I moved and collapsing in disappointment when I sat down again. When I finished work I took pity on him and took him on a long walk to Karkarook Park where the poor thing went into sensory overload and couldn't decide which clump of grass to smell first.

So many things to sniff!  What's a dog to do?

Let's start by barking at ducks.
 

On Wednesday morning Roger sent more photos, waxing lyrical about the blue sky, the blue sea, the white sand, and the utter absence of wind.

"It's a perfect day today!"

I ignored him.

Tonight the dog and I will photoshop ourselves into pictures of tropical islands and send them to Roger.

That's our plan.






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