Keeping Grandma Out Of The Freezer

Grandma is a very old cat. If she were a human, she would long ago have gotten her letter from the monarch and may well have welcomed great-grandchildren into her life. She is so old that her people, in their written instructions, included notes on What To Do If Grandma Dies (put her in the garage freezer so they can personally farewell her later, if you were wondering).

She likes the sun.  She follows it around the house from window sill to lounge room floor and back again, with brief excursions out to the court yard.

 

Unfortunately, spending most of her time upstairs following the sun meant that Grandma was a long way from the kitty litter in the laundry downstairs, and when an old cat has to go, she has to go. Grandma struggled to make it all the way downstairs before the forces of nature had their way and puddles ensued. Over the course of a weekend we went from an occasional puddle on the steps to hourly puddles in places discoverable only by feet, a house smelling of disinfectant, a washing machine in shock, a mop standing at the ready, and international discussions being held on the need for veterinary attention. 

Monday rolled around and much to Grandma's disgust, off we went to the vet. This necessitated a trip to Kadina in the cat cage and Grandma was vocal in her displeasure. She was not impressed with the dedicated cat inspection room either, and took offence at the young vet who did unspeakable things to her and then stuck needles in her veins and took her blood. "We're a bit busy," He told me. "Do you have anything else you need to do? We can call you when we've finished." And Grandma disappeared into a back room, grumbling all the way.

Get me out of here. Now.

 

I cooled my heels in Kadina, hampered by not wanting to start anything such the historical walk, as I expected to be called at any minute (how long does it take to take a cat's blood?). I walked Kadina's main street several times. Kadina took its position as the main business centre of the Copper Triangle seriously: not for Kadina the tourist frippery of Moonta and Wallaroo, Kadina was all office shops and furniture stores, accountants' offices and lawyers' rooms. I found three cafes, all closed, which led me to suspect that Kadina's cafes were really just pretend shop fronts, there to give an illusion of hospitality in a town that had better things to do than sit down with a nice pot of tea or a cappuccino.

By 5pm I was beginning to wonder what was happening with Grandma, and took myself back to the vet surgery where the receptionist declared that she had just been going to ring me and then ruined the illusion by not knowing who I was. I had a long discussion with the vet, who earnestly recommended expensive and extensive interventions which I, as Grandma's temporary custodian, did not have the power to consider. I duly took notes and initiated measures which would, hopefully, keep Grandma out of the freezer until her owners were back in the country and could make all freezer-related decisions. Then I took Grandma, still bitterly complaining in her cage, back home. On release she yowled her displeasure at the world, spat at Young Cat, and took herself off to bed.

Roger expressed concern that should we have to use the garage freezer it did not have sufficient available real estate for Grandma to lie in comfort, and would require pretzel-like contortions to achieve preservation.We decided to worry about that if and when the freezer was required, and retired to comfortable chairs to watch the sun set.  Grandma, sick as she was, is ever alert to the sound of a bottom hitting a comfortable chair and in no time at all she was there to claim a lap.  Luckily we were both sitting down, as in an unprecendented turn of events NotAStray arrived out of the blue and promptly laid claim to a lap as well, with an associated blast of over-the-top purring and demands for chin rubs. 

He was a tough nut to crack, but I think we've made it onto the NotAStray approval list.

You'll be glad to know that at the time of publishing, the only things in the freezer are conventional freezer fillings, and that's the way I'd like to keep it.